Throughout my college career there has been one conversation that has been more prevalant than all others.
Nope, wasn't about politics.
Nope, wasn't about religion.
Nope, wasn't about academics.
It was about Captain Planet, that great cartoon show of our youth. Specifically it was about Ma-Ti, better known as the kid with the heart ring. Now, I'm sure you know exactly what this conversation was about...how much the heart kid sucked. Everyone else could do totally sweet chick. Wheeler could set things on fire, the blonde Russian chick could control water, the black dude could cause earthquakes and even sort of control plants, and the Asian chick could control the forces of water. Meanwhile, Ma-Ti could talk to animals and politely ask them to do things. His suckiness is emphasized by the fact that in the opening credits everyone else has a sweet action sequence, and when he comes up his little fricking monkey runs across the screen. Not badass at all.
Now, I feel like I just want to lay out my opinion on the issue. I don't really think the heart power sucked, I really just think it was the kid. I mean, I can't really believe that that's the power that was put into that little ring. The power to talk to animals. Weak sauce, weak sauce. I believe that the true intention of the heart ring was to control the animals. Now, come on, how badass would that be. Just bring a raging force of beasts to dominate there asses. Screw asking them to do shit, just control them to do it. Did Wheeler ask fire do burn stuff...NO...he just controlled the fire. That's what makes Ma-Ti worthless, he has to go through this whole persuasive thing, has to waste time talking to the animals. He didn't use the ring properly, thank god Captain Planet was around to save their scrawny asses.
By the way, did you know that such big names as Whoopi Goldberg, Jeff Goldblum, Ed Asner, Phyllis Diller, Neal Patrick Harris, and Helen Hunt all lent their names to the series?
Diane: he was hot
Diane: for a red head
Jack: and a cartoon character