Friday, July 13, 2007

My Quiz - The Answer Key


Q: What school did I graduate from?

A: Princeton - if you got this wrong, clearly we've never met

Q: Of how many names does my full name consist?

A: I claim the answer is 5, but some people have debated as to whether or not IV is a name or not.  My full name is John Joseph Francis Fleming IV

Q: What do I consider to be the perfect movie?

A: The Princess Bride.  I mean it's a story of true love and high adventure., it's got something for everyone no matter what your genderic tendencies

Q: What is my sibling situation?

A: 1 younger sister, 1 younger brother.  I was glad to see my sister got this one right.

Q: What's my hometown

A: Oh tricky one.  Hulmeville is the answer.

Q: What do I consider to be the best TV show?

A: Probably the hardest question on the test, I love all of the options and Lost is my favorite show that currently airs.  But no media has illicited the emotion and general investment that I have in the story and characters as Carnivale did?

Q: I dislike

A: I adore muppets.  My job is awesome.  Picking at scabs doesn't bother me, but for those of you who used to read my blog a while back, you know that I truly hate Automatically flushing toilets.  My diatribe on the subject can be found here.  It's my largest bathroom pet peeve, the second largest being bathroom attendants.

Q: The thing that I think California does the worst compared to the east coast is?

A: While it's true the pizza sucks out here, the absolute worst thing is that I haven't gotten a really good sandwich out here.  I had one from an italian deli the other day that was actually decent, but nothing matches the cold cut manipulating abilities of a true east coast guido.

Q: What is my favorite type of beer?

A: Hefeweizen.  Hands down., I love that stuff.  What's with all the people who said I.P.A, I can't remember the last time I had one of those.  I considered having Lager on this list, but that would then include Yuengling, which is indeed the best beer ever, so I thought that would confuse things.  In conclusion, best type of beer Hef, best individual beer Yuengling Lager.

Q: What is my greatest failing with the fairer sex? 

A: I get caught in the friend zone...all the fricking time.  Although after I made this quiz Iwas discussing some of my old relationships and I coined the phrase "Oblivious to the Obvious."  That may really be the greater failing.

Q: To what song do I do my butt dance?

A: 50 cent - Disco Inferno.  Sadly Gracie didn't take this test and she's probably the only one who would have known the answer to this question.  Shake Shake that ass girl. 

Q: What's my favorite type of liquor

A: Amaretto baby.  Specifically Disaronno.  I considered writing that, but I thought that writing a specific brand would give this away.  A certain coMoose after he got this question wrong (He bought my first bottle of Disaronno:

CoMoose: not bourbon!?!


CoMoose: damn it

Me: i figured specifically naming the brand would give it away

CoMoose: i should never have bought thato ne

CoMoose: if only i had known that 3 years down the line, this was going to happen

Q: Who is my favorite author:

A: Douglaas Adams

Q: What is my favorite party theme

A: Anyone who went to Princeton with me should have gotten this, Jersey Trash.  I'm literally the poster boy for Quad Jersey Trash.

Q: Which of these are my favorites?

A: Ah, those who know me as the Vatican Ninja were thrown.  Corect answer is Pirates

Q: What is my favorite color?

A: Green.

Q: What is the most important thing to me about the next car I buy?

A: Convertible.  I want to see the SUN!!!

Q: What do I consider to be my best physical feature?

A: The guns baby.

Q: What is my standard ringtone?

A: This was actually really hard, since my phone never rings, thus making it hard for people to know what the ringtone is.  Erica none the less got this right.  Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root.  Look it up.

Q: What is the dominant aspect of my sense of humor?

A: Randomness.  Blame Douglas Adams for that.  Apparently other people disagree.

Q: For which artist do I own the largest number of songs?

A: Tim McGraw 96 songs.  And I think he just put out a new cd...


All I wanna do is let it be and be with you and watch the wind blow by.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Visit Australia. Experience Sarcasm.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,Townsville and Hervey Bay?(UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in themiddle of the Pacific which does
not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go
out walking.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population

is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I

dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? (USA)>
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Monday, May 21, 2007

100 Questions

1. Full name: John Joseph Francis Fleming IV
2. Nicknames: Jack, JackJohn, JJ, Boot, Jackie, Fleming, Flemdog, Johnny Boy
3. Shoe size: 11
4. Height. 5’10”
5. hair color: Brown
7. Do you like to sing in the shower? No, in the car
8. What's 6x7? The answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything
9. Birthday: 04/23/1983
10. Sign: Taurus
11. Boxers or briefs? Boxers
12. Sane? Mostly
13. Righty or lefty:Righty
14. What do you want in a relationship most: Banter (I think good banter is a product of so many other things in a relationship)
15. Have you ever cheated? Negative
16. Marital status: Single
17. Do you have a car? The mini-micro-machine
18. What kinda car do you have? Hyundai Accent
19. Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride
20. Food: After much thought, Hoagies
26. Book: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
27. TV show: Lost
28. Disney Character: Goofy
29. Color: Green
30. Do you plan on having kids? Yes
33. Get married? Yes
34. Would you have kids before marriage? No
35. Do you have a b/f or g/f?: Didn't you already ask about marital status? That would make the answer no.
37. Do you have a crush: Multiple
38. Music or TV: Music
39. Guys/Girls: Girls
40. Green/Blue: Green
41. Pink/Purple: Pink
42. Summer/Winter: Summer
43. Day/Night: Day
44. Hanging Out/Chillin: Hanging Out
45. Dopey/Funny: Funny
46. insane/sane: Insane
47. What school do you go to? Been there done that.
49. What's a major turn on for you? Sass

50. Who Are They? College Friends, wrestlers et al, church people, and Sports and Social Club people
52. Nicest: Katie K (Nobody else has sent me cookies)
53. Whats something special about you: I dissect everything people say.
54. Tallest: Justin?
55. Best personality: I can't decide
56. Which people do you trust and are open with the most? Joanna
57. Do you believe in soul mates??? Yes.
58. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf or gf? Well since my 'flirting' is being myself and being nice, I'll say yes.
59. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Charlie writing that the most important event of his life was meeting Claire as he was about to give up his life to have her and her baby rescued of the island...on Lost.
60. What's something about guys/girls you don't get: How to tell if they like me.
63. Love or Lust: Love
64. Silver or gold: White gold
65. Diamond or pearl: Diamond
66. Sunset or sunrise: Depends on the cost, Sunrise on the east, Sunset on the west. Whichever one has the sun over the water.
64. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? a water hazard.
65. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: No, unless cuddle pillows count as stuffed animals.
66. Do you have any piercings: No
68. What song are u listening to right now?: The Blower's Daughter - Damian Rice

69. Whats the last 4 digits of your phone home: 6219
70. Where would you want to go on your honey moon: Used to say Disney World, but now I'd probably say Australia or Italy or Hawaii or somewhere I haven't ever been.

71. Who would you want to spend the rest of your life with? I don't know yet.
72. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Hair and smile.
74. What makes you happy?: Being social.
75. What's the next cd/s you're gonna get? The new Maroon 5 maybe?
76. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Both
77. What's the best advice given to you?: "You can sit there by yourself and feel sorry for yourself and have a pity party and eat ice cream and cookies, but at some point you're going to run out of sweatpants." Or something like that, I forget her exact words, I'm pretty sure they were better than what I just wrote though.
78. Have you ever won any special awards? Yeah lots. Mostly in High School for wrestling and academic crap.
79. What are your goals in life?: Fulfill my purpose, have a solid job, a good wife, and awesome children.
80. What color is your toothbrush?:White
81. Funny or scary movies?: Funny
82. On the phone or in person?: In person
83. Hugs or kisses? Kisses
84. What song seems to reflect you the most? Simple Man - Skynard
85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? My parents
86. Do you have any enemies?: None that I'm aware of.
87. What color are your nails: Clear
88. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich
90. What's the weirdest thing you've heard/found out about someone: That the first girl I ever kissed (when I was 6) got married when she was like 18 and that the first girl I ever dated got married like a year ago.
91. Have you ever met Santa? Yes
92. If E.T. knocked on your door holding up a peace sign and asked you to use your phone what would you do? Let him use my phone

93. When did you last talk to the person that you had a crush on? I think I've communicated with all of them in the past 15 days.
94. Do you have any pets? :( No
95. Whats the temperature outside: Like 70 degrees I think
96. Last time you were stressed: April 20th, 2005

97. Are you an alcoholic? No
98. Who sent this to you? Andy Pinto
99. What do you think of this person? He's an alright dude.
100.Do you want your friends to write back? Yes!

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Annual Review

Recently for work I had my first annual review. I sat down with my boss to discuss the past year as well as the upcoming years. To prepare for this my boss asked me to come up with your standard "Where do you see yourself in 1, 5, 10 years." I figured I'd share that with the general populace, as well as adding on where I see my personal life in that time span.

One Year - 2008


Still here in Southern California. I want to have a more robust knowledge of exactly how the program works. There are still some things that I muddle through and I’d like to have a firmer understanding of exactly what I’m doing. I’d like to have more experience with the initial meetings with clients, before they’ve decided to actually choose to use our program. Pretty much every client that I’ve met with so far have been those that have already signed contracts with us, other that Santa Barbara and even they were already using our old system. I’d also like my knowledge of the accounting side to improve. I’ve learned a lot about accounting, but I still don’t ‘really feel comfortable fixing problems and providing programming solutions to things that come up on the accounting side.


Obviously my professional life has a big impact here, as in order to still be here in SoCal to work, I must also be here to live. By this time next year I should be living more towards the beach, either in Huntington Beach, Newport Beach, or perhaps the slightly less glamorous Costa Mesa. I'd probably like to be in some sort of relationship, but as I've shown in the past I have very a very low tolerance for non-functioning relationships, so I certainly won't be bending my standards merely so that in a year I can say that I'm in one. In the past years I've established some solid friends. I think my primary goal regarding friendships is concerned is to see the relationships I have deepen a little bit. I could probably use a few more friends, specifically with people my own age, but I'm pretty satisfied with the number I have now, so my focus will be on improving the quality of my current friendships rather than the quantity.

Five Years - 2012


As of right now I guess I would still see myself as being with Panoramic in 5 years and growing with the company. I know that the company’s goal is expanding and becoming a larger both geographically and philosophically and I’d like to be a part of that. I really like the work that I do and being part of a growing company is always exciting. If we expand to other states (especially the east coast) I would likely be happy to really help with that. I also would like with helping acclimate new employees to our company and culture.


My personal life again is highly contingent on my professional life. But in five years I'd really like to be in a position to start the process of settling down. Not necessarily settle with roots set, but in a position to start doing so. In other words I'd like to have a good idea of where my life is going. Right now I have so many avenues available to me that my future is extremely foggy. In 5 years I know I still wont' know exactly where this ride of life is taking me, but I'd like to know if I'm heading east or west. As far as relationships are concerned I'd like to be in a serious relationship by then. Again not necessarily fully committed, but I'd like to be in a relationship that has been at least 1 or 2 years along, with an eye on the future. My friendships should hopefully be well established by then. Through most of my life I've had a fairly high amount of turnover regarding friends. Not really having any fallouts with people, but a lot of people that I become really good friends with and then just sort of fade away. Hopefully in the next 5 years there will be less of that.

Ten Years - 2017


This far out is extremely foggy to me. It’s weird for me to try to think of a time that is farther away than my high school graduation was. So much has changed for me in the past 6 years as far as where I thought I’d be. Even the amount that’s changed in the past 2 years I find to be fairly astounding. By 10 years from now I do hope to be more settled in my life, definitely with a much more permanent residency than what I have right now. I could still see myself with Panoramic, but there are certainly other things that I have inklings to do, perhaps attending some sort of grad school and getting a more advanced degree.


Like I said with professional, this is so far off that it almost hurts to think about. I know that I'll basically be a completely different person with a completely different life at this point. By 2017, I'd plan on being married, likely with a child if not already in existence, on the way in the near future. I'd probably be owning my own home by this point and really have my roots settled in and really taking hold. Essentially, 10 years from now I want as many things in my life to be stable and determined as possible. I know this is probably a pipe dream, but that's why this is "Where I'd Like to Be in 10 Years," not, "I Know My Life is Going to Be This Way in 10 Years Because I'm Magic"

Code monkey like Frittos
Code monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code monkey like you

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Intellectual Catholicism

I'll probably cover this topic in more depth and with a much more personal tone at a later point as I continue to go over the religious journey that I went through in my life. Suffice to say that for much of my journey one of the major themes was trying to justify my Catholic self to my intellectual self. Those things always seemed to be in great conflict and almost seemed mutually exclusive to me. Through the influence of several very intelligent Catholics I was able to overcome this conflict, but that is a story for a later time. Really I just wanted to share this quote from Stephen Colbert, the actual person, not the persona he plays on TV.

I love my Church, and I'm a Catholic who was raised by intellectuals, who were very devout. I was raised to believe that you could question the Church and still be a Catholic. What is worthy of satire is the misuse of religion for destructive or political gains. That's totally different from the Word, the blood, the body and the Christ. His kingdom is not of this earth.

This quote really resonates with me and it in someway helps to sum up how I was eventually able to deal with being both an Intellectual and a Catholic. I feel like if I had heard this quote when I was trying to deal with the issue it would have helped me a lot. As it stands it just helps to reaffirm my current position and feelings with regards to the Church and even religion as a whole. All and all I think this is a very poignant and insightful quote.

I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music