Sunday, September 25, 2005

My Ass Hurts So Much! I Hate You!

Irish weekend was fricking awesome. Such tremendous drunken revelry. A few things that I should note as advice for future Irish Festival attendees. Some of these bits of advice should be good to follow in life in general.
  1. Contrary to what I was told, the open container law is not lifted for the entirety of the weekend. Much to Jeremy's chagrin, the open container law goes into effect as of 11PM every evening. These resulted in him getting a ticket as well as a very interesting exchange between a cop, Mike, Rich, and I at approximately 11:05. The three of us had just purchased 60 oz. pitchers of beer as the cop came up to us and said "You're not allowed to have open containers after 11, you're going ot have to pound those." Gotta love when a cop suggests chugging a beer rather than disposing of it in a more crude fashion
  2. Don't pull a chair out from under your girlfriend as she's sitting down and results in them making embarassing comments the next morning that make it sound like you had put it in her pooper the previous evening "My ass hurts so much! I hate you!"
  3. Drinking from 4:30 PM until 3 the next morning results in you spending much of the next day in bed.
  4. Bring lots of money with you to Irish weekend, it myseriously decides to get up and leave your wallet as the night progresses, thus it costs a lot more than you think it will.
  5. Be wary of girls who ask you hypothetical questions regarding what you would do for your dream girl. It could result in her asking you "If he perfect girl of your dreams would only marry you if you let her pound you in the ass, would you?" Note: Someone I know said yes, I'm not going to say who.
  6. Sometimes jokes about someone wanting to have a homosexual relationship with you go to far.
  7. Be careful of what sort of evidence you leave in your shoes.
  8. Leave early for Irish Weekend, otherwise you'll be stuck in hours and hours of traffic.
  9. Be careful about allowing your shirt to be removed on the street, it could result in someone stealing it and throwing it on a second-story roof (to be fair he also retrieved it).
  10. Some people are just fucking crazy.
And their leader was a galliant man Sean South of Gary Owen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Was thinking that since you like Irish music and will be missing the festival, you might like our coverage of another Irish fest on Irish Music Podcast:

Irish Music Podcast Show #4 - 9.24.05
Special Pittsburgh Irish Festival Recap!
All artists on this week's show appeared at the 2005 Pittsburgh Irish Festival.

Co-host: Tom Carraher, Engineer - Audible Images, Musician - The Wild Geese Band

Song 1: Teada - Hornpipes and jigs.
Unbelievable young talents! This song available on their self-titled release - only $10 online. Best $10 you'll spend on music!

This week in Alcohol: Skinny dipping in Loch Ness

Song 2: Michael Murphy and The Shannon River Band
Irish Rover->I know you rider.
Recorded live at the Pittsburgh Irish Festival!
Download the entire mp3 for free at!

Interview: Matt Craig
Main stage MC for Pittsburgh Irish Festival

Song 3: Searson - Don't Follow After Me.
Kick ass Celtic.

Song 4: Hooley - Charly Lennon's Reels.
These guys are Pittsburgh's official Ceili leaders.
Download this one free at