Strangers

So I went to New York this weekend past to visit my bestest friend, JG, who was up visiting from Alabama. For those of you who don't know JG has about a 50 for 53 track record of telling me the right thing to do. That being that when I've asked her for advice and I follow it, things usually turn out well and when I ask her for advice and I don't follow it things tend to turn out badly. This caused me to seriously considering signing over all major life decisions to her, especially when it comes to the womenfolk. As I've done in the past, I will pass on some major lessons that I learned during my trip to NYC:

• Princetonians at a 20 dollar open bar for 2 hours will result in the ladies being the only ones to dance on the bar and will cause a large black bouncer to dislike them and leer at them angrily for most of the evening
• Staying in a 130 sq. ft. room with 3 chicks is not as glamorous as it sounds...it results in you sleeping on the floor...which is not comfortable, I recommend being quite intoxicated in order to deal with this situation.
• Asian cab drivers like it when the guy who sits in the front seat talks to him. He moved hear from Hong Kong and has four children. His wife doesn't work and his eldest daughter is in college. So his entire family is supported on his cab driver's salary. He impresses me.
  
• Spending the day with girls in New York means you'll be spending the day shopping
• When you spend the day with girls as they're shopping in New York, you can't help but feel a need to buy something. This resulted in my two metrosexualesque shirt purchases (both of which Joanna approved of and I do look pretty sweet in them)
  
• Girls like to go into porn shops in New York
• When you go to Chinatown in New York, there is a purse store that sells designer handbags (probably knockoffs) for very cheap, this occurs in a creepy secret back room which the employees lock. Apparently girls really like this.
• When in Chinatown, beware of random fights that break out while your waiting for girls to come out of the secret scary purse room. They move quickly and may nearly run you over. Also they may hit each other with pieces of sheet metal.
• Some girls get terribly shaken and anxious after witnessing a street fight. Some girls get really upset that said street fight resulted in them being unable to purchase a knockoff handbag, I will end up being amused...which will further horrify the first group of girls.
  
• Apparently witnessing a bum fight is a reason to never go somewhere ever again.
• There is a restaurant pub in New York called "The Slaughtered Lamb," it features a statue of a wolfman biting a woman's deck who is dawning an orgasmic face and amble bosoms. It is described as the wolfman proposing to the o-faced lady and her "readily accepting"
• Said pub also features a creepy waiting staff, tiny bathrooms, and a wide selection of tasty beers.
• I highly recommend The Slaughtered Lamb for your next visit to New York.
• Being Zagat rated is like having many leather bound books and an apartment that smells of rich mahogany , it makes you kind of a big deal.
• Katwalk is rather overrated, although their girls that dance on the catwalk are pretty hot.
• If someone tries to tell you a place called "Carl's Cheeseteaks" makes better cheeseteaks than you can get in Philly, he is a dirty dirty filthy liar.
• A bottle of wine doesn't get you nearly as drunk as you'd think
• You might want to check this list later if I think of more stuff, I'll add it to the top of this list.

They were ever so happy, they were ever so sad
to grow old in a new world through good times and bad
all the parties and weddings, the ceilis and wakes
when New York was Irish, full of joys and heartbreaks