Questions Answered

***Have u ever wondered why in kung fu movies there are 500 "bad guys" with all sorts of weapons from bats, swords to guns, but not one of them knows how to use one!?!?!?

-->The recruiting policy of most evil leaders tends to be quantity over quality. It's much easier to train a large number of people minimily than it is to train a small number of people extremely well. As they say good help is hard to find, so many evil masterminds choose to settle for a lower quality lackey. In addition since we are talking about evil people, an evil leader wouldn't really want many truly talented people because they are more likely to revolt or become an evil rival. Meanwhile the good guys are often people who are training themselves and are devoted to their cause, certainly moreso than an evil lackey, thus they are more likely to be more talented. In addition heroes tend to be very ambitious and motivated. THis is impossible to have in a lackey because nobody who was ambitious and motivated would ever settle for being a lackey, thus making them a danger to the evil leader.

***Oh and why is it that when there's a 20 to one ratio..everyone just groups around the main character and "waits their turn" to fight rather than all just get him at once and actually win the fight?!

-->It's actually kind of difficult for everyone to pile onto one guy and it's pretty certain that they haven't trained for such a situation. Most fighting styles, be it martial arts, boxing, etc. are taught from the standpoint of a one on one fight. Thus, quite simply most people don't know how to effectively gang up on someone and attack them properly. People tend to resort to what they know, which in this case is one on one fighting. It's just as Fezzik actually had more difficulty with a single opponent, because he was used to fighting groups.

Fezzik: I just figured why you give me so much trouble.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

Why's that, do you think?

Fezzik: Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long.
I've been specializing in groups. Battling gangs for
local charities, that kind of thing.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

Why should that make such a <> difference?

Fezzik: Well, you see, you use different moves when you're
fighting half a dozen people than when you only have
to be worried about ... one.

***How come when there's a fight scene and someone gets hurt they always have that pause where they admire their flesh wound and then they get angry and jump back into fighting again...like what the hell is the other guy doing during this time?

-->Reveling in the fact that they just managed to injur there foe. Both parties are taking time to register the event that just occurred.

How come when you watch a scary movie...the slutty chicks always get killed but the virgin somehow always makes it?!

--> Mere aspects of survival. Virgins are less likely to take risks and risk their survival. The mere act of being slutty is fairly risky and can put one in danger. Therefore we can assume that slutty girls are more likely to take part in risky behavior in general which will often put them in harm's way. This can be more directly seen in the fact that many times the slutty girls will be killed while being slutty. For instance, a couple 'parks' somewhere secluded in order to fornicate without interuption, this is an ideal place for a murderer to attack as there are less likely to be witnesses (that was the whole point in fornicating somewhere secluded wasn't it?) In addition many villains are crazy and see themselves as morally superior and will attack slutty girls because they are slutty. If one looked at real life serial killers I wouldn't doubt that more of their victims were slutty than virgins.

***How come in action movies there is always that scene where someone is hanging from a cliff, a ledge, or a vehicle?!

-->Action movies often feature fast-pased movement in which case a full understanding of one bearings is not possible. Just think of how much more likely you are to trip when you're sprinting than when you're walking down the street. Same with driving a car, you're more likely to lose control when you're driving fast, like when you're chasing someone, than when you're driving at normal speeds. At any rate, due to the inability to properly take in all of your surroundings you're more likely to mistep enough to cause yourself to be hanging from a cliff, a ledge, or a vehicle. Again we see that risky behavior causes dangerous scenarios.

***Why is it that in every romance movie someone has to cry?

-->Because most people cry when they're in a relationship. For someone not to cry in a romantic movie, either nothing bad would have to happen and it'd have to be the perfect relationship, which quite frankly would be boring, or the characters would have to have hurts of stones, which would make the characters completely unreal and unrelatable, thus making it a crappy movie.

How come in every comedy someone has to get physically hurt in some way?!

--> Because people getting hurt is hilarious.

***How come there are no midgets cast in serious movies?

-->Because midgets are hilarious and they could never be seen as anything but hilarious. Well, maybe they can be seen as scary, yeah sometimes midgets are scary.

Come to think of it there's a pretty serious midget in the TV Show Carnivale. Oh Samson, what an awesome little dude.

***How come in every movie the killer always has a long winded speech before he wants to kill the main character...and somehow...by the strike of good timing..the main character's unexpected acquaintance, friend, lover or coworker always kills the killer at the end of the speech right before he shoots the main character?!?

-->Because Killers tend to be egonomaniacs and the mere act of defeating someone and killing them would not suffice in satiating their thirst. It is necessary for them to gloat, otherwise they will miss out on the full benefit of the conquest. Too miss out on the gloating would almost make the victory pointless as it is necesssary for them to truly assert their dominance over their rival. Villains also tend to be overconfident pricks, which makes them fail to see any possibility that the hero could in some way defeat them or be saved.

***Why do sport movies always have that one kid that didn't want to play, has a handicap, or has never played before be the best in the game?

-->I don't really think this one is true. That kid usually just pulls of one play or miraciulous thing that greatly helps the team in their inevitable final victory. They're rarely the ones that are the 'best in the game' even when they're the main character. Look at the movie Rudy, one of the greatest sports movies of all time. He only actually played in a real game for like 2 plays. In the end he was barely on the practice squad or anything.

***Why do romance movies always have someone die, move away, cheat, or break up with the other person?

--> Because in life people die, move away, cheat, and break up. Besides if none of these things happened, or at least some other tragedy to overcome, than it wouldn't be a very good story would it? Wouldn't even be worth telling.

***How come in a scary movies the victim always runs upstairs, into a room with no way out, a dark place, a room with the only door and window locked or out to a car that never seems to start?!

-->Again this has to do with the fact that in such life endangering situations people are forced to act quickly without thinking and even if they are thinking their ability to think is often quality by rushes of adreniline and such. Besides, if you're running away from someone for long enough it is likely that you'll find yourself in an inescapable situation. It can also be argued that the killer is smart enough to have set up things as a trap, thus somewhat forcing someone to make the poor decision to run into an inclosed area.